The grief of loss is a heavy toll especially when it arrives suddenly, without warning. In the early days, there’s often an outpouring of support: meals delivered, messages sent, hands held. But what happens two, three, or four months later?
When the calls slow down.
When the world moves on.
When your friend, your relative, your beloved person is still quietly surviving the aftershocks, the stress and the burnout.
This page is for that moment.
“Sometimes we just need someone to simply be there not to fix anything, but to let us feel we’re supported and not alone.”
The lowest point tends to be three to six months down the line (much longer if they were a caregiver) because at that point they haven’t slept or eaten properly and have been dealing with the ongoing stresses and grief as they realize this is the rest of their life.
- Providing food is common, provide smaller servings that can be frozen for more than a month in case they are too overwhelmed to shop or cook.
- Protein shakes, Ensure Plus, Gatorade, water, drink powder, etc
- Packaged snacks that are shelf stable are useful for when they just need to eat something
- Household consumables such as Tissues, Toiletries, Personal hygiene products
- Show up and help around the house with needs that the partner/friend used to provide. Don’t ask questions or “what do you need”, just hop in and help
- Offer to fill up their gas tank, or in some cases you may need to show them how
- Backup photos, videos, recordings, texts for later use when they’re ready to reminisce
- Weighted blanket/ weighted stuffed animals
- Check in on birthdays, holidays, anniversaries.
- A pack of soft, warm night lights to go around the house, maybe versions that go on automatically during a power outage as well, especially if they are new to living alone
- Journal to track emotions or feelings
- Refer them to this site to work through the emotional journey
- You are fine to offer nothing but kind words in the beginning knowing that lots of people will try to jump in at first, so let the crowds thin and then show up regularly for lasting support
Lastly, don’t take it personally if they forget to thank you for a meal, never respond to a text or get snappy about something. It’s not personal, they just lost their person and entire world.
💌 Gentle Check-Ins
“Send a quiet hello by offering comfort through care”
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“To care for someone is to hold space for their pain without trying to erase it.”