Coping During the Holidays

The holiday season can intensify grief as memories surface and expectations of joy clash with your reality. It’s completely normal to feel a mix of sadness, anger, loneliness, or even guilt for any moments of happiness these emotions don’t mean you’re “failing” at grieving.

Here are some gentle, expert-backed strategies to help you cope:

• Acknowledge your feelings without judgment Give yourself permission to grieve openly. Cry if you need to, or step away from festivities, there’s no “right” way to feel. Grief reflects love and suppressing it often makes it harder.
• Plan and set boundaries Decide in advance what traditions feel manageable. It’s okay to modify, skip, or create new ones like opting for a quiet evening instead of a big gathering. Have a “Plan B” ready, such as leaving early or having a supportive friend on call. Protect your energy; grief is exhausting.
• Honor your loved one with small rituals Light a candle in their memory, hang a special ornament, share stories or their favorite recipe, set out a photo or donate in their name. These acts keep their presence alive without forcing cheer.
• Practice self-care and seek support Prioritize rest, gentle movement, or quiet time. Reach out to understanding friends, family, or a grief support group as talking helps normalize the pain. If it feels overwhelming, consider professional counseling.
• Build an exit ramp Plan a walk, a quiet room, or a time boundary so you have somewhere to go if emotions swell. It’s also okay for a simple “I might need a break today”.
• Let joy coexist with sorrow moments of laughter or warmth don’t erase your grief; they’re part of being human in a hard season.
• For New Year’s specifically The transition can feel like “leaving them behind,” but your love endures. Focus on self-compassion over resolutions; perhaps reflect on cherished memories or set a gentle intention for healing.

You’re not alone in this. Many find the holidays bittersweet, even years later. Be kind to yourself; small steps through the season are enough.